All Life Insurance Tips - Should I stay married to this man? ?

Should I stay married to this man? ?

I need a little help from a few third party people. Lets start from the begining. I met my husband back in March 2004. We dated on an off from about a year until we finaly became very seriouse in our relationship. Everything was going well for us but they only thing was he could never hold a good job. (keep that in mind) He always bounceed around from job to job. but when it was time to look for a better job he was really always on the ball about that he was never with out a job though. In october 2006 we had our wonderful daughter who is now 2 years old and the cuties little thing ever. We were finaly a family but daddy still needed to get his GED to get a better job. For the next few months he studied for his GED and finaly received it by december 2007. His goal was to become a police officer and do good for his family that a man should do. Yes he has his down falls like his manners when eating (drives me fucking crazy), talking about dumbshit, and just doing crap you hate for you boyfriend to do in front of people. But in January 2008 he bacome a security officer and also got a part time job but he was making pretty good money. And we were able to finaly move in Feb 2008 into a nice apartment and not worry about any money issues. On march 8,2008 We finally got married. The best day of my life and still is. We were doing great. My husband got rid of the part time job that was not usful and got a part time job at another security place. We alway had money and we did everything as a family. We did have our arguements and he was known as "dingy" in my family because some crap he did he just didn't think straight. We anyways on July 25th,2008 he got so made at an arguement that we had the night before and at some of his coworkers he completly lite his car on fire. Its a total lose. Now this car he lite on fire was in my name completly. I bought him this car in December 2006 becuase we had our daughter and needed a second car. He was making payments and doing everything right. He was taken to jail friday night and released monday morning with a bail of 10,000$ which was his first crime nothing is on his record. Now my family is wonderful they have given us money to pay for an accident he was in, given each of us gas money when we didnt have the money, and paid for a wedding that was 10,000$. So my family is very well off and very nice but his family took me by surprize. My husband told me when he was in jail he wanted me to call his father that he is asking for help to get him out. So me being to middle man to ask i always said "this is coming from your son not me". Well keep in mind is dad is a nothing no good piece of white trash, low life, poor, and uneducated,and thinks in his mind as we were in the 50s. he believes women should do everything for him like his wife. but anyways I called his dad I explained "You son has committed a crime by burning up my car which is no longer usable and is now in jail. I was about to tell him after that line "I am not pressing charges but you know the insurance company is going to investigate as fraud." His dad said to me yelling "you better not press no charges against my son he has done nothing to you you need to get him out". I was pissed now me and his dad don't get along I hate him he is a disgrace to man kind its self. But even his sister which is 20 now im a year older than her said "i need to learn to bail out my own husband and I need to ask my family because they have money and they are poor". So I took it with a gran of salt and figured his family is a piece of shit that maybe noone cares. So anyways my mom ended up on a credit card bailing him out on monday putting 500.00 up front. He has already paid off the bailbonds man their 500.00 so hes been good with that. Now noone know how much stress it can be when someone screws you over. I had to deal with the finance company, insurance company, states attorney, and police for a whole month and a half. I was so stressed out I passed out, vomited, stopped in eatinng because i was so worried what these finance and ins company will do. Because when my husband wrote the statement he said i knew about it because of the arguement umm i didnt hear shit! But he explained and I have no been questioned. my insurance company denied claim (thank god now is a good thing) but is willing to keep him on my insurance and no it did go up it dropped rates becuase the car is off of it, my fianance company did do anything they just want money, and everything was set. This act pushed my family out of my nice apartment. when he first got out of jail i said "for better for worse we can pull through". Well after almost what two and halfs months Ive had enough. His trial is december 3rd he has already pleaded guilty I have already gotten advise from attorney for me which Im fine i wont be questioned. we have seperated he lives at home and I live with my mom. He has a good paying job still doing plumbing because jiffy lube dont pay crap and h thanks for everyones advise. I do need to sit back and think of everything I have and do whats best for my daughter and I. Obviously being depressed and not eating is not the healthest way to go..LOL. but thanks for everyones advise i do appriciate it. I think i do have some seriouse thinking to do. Have a great day.

Public Comments

I'm not going to read all of this but to put the decision to divorce your husband on Y/A is just hilarious!
I fell asleep reading all of that. I will just wait for the movie.
forget security and do what makes you feel like living and not what makes you doubt. life is short and the happy moments even shorter
I can't believe I just read all that stuff..
Any idiot can become a police officer. You really had to dig deep in the barrel to find this one.
If you will read this statement of yours in the same light as we are reading, you will ask yourself, Did I just defend this man? He has enough temper to put a car completely on fire, accuse me of knowing about it and lets me get cursed by his dad and this is costing my family how much? Love can only go so far. Why do you feel the need to punish yourself and especially your child? Putting this man aside, you need to think of the familys money going on someone who has a temper, little bit or whole lot loony..and put this money and future money on the health and welfare of your child. If you don't then your as loony as him and don't have any room to talk
Oh my word... He LIT a car on fire?? Sounds like a violent, unstable person. Do you really want him around the kid with fits of rage like that? Seriously...
he sounds worthless to me
I agree with Gokken.That is a perfect way to explain it.Life is short. If you have doubts I wouldnt do it.
His family would make a great plot for a sitcom! What a bunch of redneck hillbillies! You married his family too, kid! Just remember that!
If you have to ask strangers if you should leave your husband or not.....then that right there kind of says that the relationship, in your mind, is over and you just want someone to justify your choice. Just move on. Be happy.
Wooooow, I really think this is the longest question I've ever answered. I wanna start by saying that really really sucks. That being said I don't think you should divorce him. If he was doing so well before the arson then I don't think there's any reason to divorce him now. I really think that you two should try to work this out through therapy for both of you and anger management for him. I'm agnostic now, but I still hold some of what the Bible says dear, mainly because my parents are still together after 21 years and it's because of what they've read in the Bible. There are verses that say you shouldn't divorce unless he cheats or dies basically. I think that too many marriages fail because people divorce for reasons they could've worked through. I really believe you two can work this out, I can feel it. You guys are young, but there's no reason this marriage can't continue on a healthy path with some help. Hold on, be strong and good luck whatever you decide.
Why are you asking this question?? If you love him and want to stay with him and work through your issues as a couple then stay, if not then don't.