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unemployed boyfriend...sympathy or contempt?

My boyfriend gets laid off, especially during this time of year, and settles into a lifestyle of being up all night eating snacks in front of the t.v. and going to the pub in the evening. He basically sleeps all day. I asked him if he is depressed and he said 'no, I don't know what it is'. He still lives at home and is 32. His sisters and brother are all in their late 30's and successful, married with kids etc. He does not seem in the least bit motivated to change the situation (career change, moving out etc.) He just stays on. Although his mother complains about him often, I don't see him getting kicked out any time soon. They still buy him household items and have his car insurance in their name. He has been spoiled his whole life and I fear it has made him weak. Since he spends so much time at the pub ("but I only have a couple when I'm there!"), he is not saving money. I have a daughter whom is starting kindergarten in the fall, and we were supposed to be moving out together by then, but I can see it is not a possibility at this rate. No, I didn't push the idea on him, it was his from quite a while ago. What I am trying to do is feel sympathetic for someone I love, whom I've dated for two years and whom has become close with my daughter someone who has lost their way. What I am ending up feeling is contempt and annoyance for someone who is continually lazy and, I hate to say it, selfish. I am angry at how often he takes for granted me, and his family. Time to scoot? Maybe if I do it will pull the comforter off his back.

Public Comments

1. Contempt! He is irresponsible. If it bothers you now, wait till you are the one living with him! Be glad you haven't moved in together yet. Even HIS MOTHER complains about him!!!
2. :someone who has lost their way" Wrong!!! He has the way he wants. He has never had to take responsibility for his life and he probably never will. Get away from him and stay away. You are headed for a life of misery.
3. It's time to go. Seriously, if he does move out with you all you will be is his new mother. You're already a mother to a child who actually needs one. It's time that he becomes an adult---he sounds like that Failure to Launch movie guy.If he's not motivated to find something constructive to do in his down time he doesn't sound responsible. I don't think he's lost his way unless there's some catastrophy you didn't mention. Sounds like a loser.Sorry
4. I agree, contempt. Itd be ok if he only acted like that for a week or two just to get his head round the idea, but now hes just lazy. Hes obviously got it too easy and doesn't want to change the situation cause that would mean having to actually do something
5. I'm afraid a man of 32 yrs has not lost his way...he knows his way..right back to mother. He has the best of both worlds ..most men of that age are standing on their own 2 feet and not living of anyone at all. I am amazed how he can sit in the pub all day long when he does not work !! I think it's time you stopped playing this game with him. If he is not working, he should be out all day long looking for work..any sort of work. You already know what you must do...don't put it off any longer..you and you child deserve so much better. Contempt , resentment , is what I would feel for anyone like that.
6. Time to run!!! I have been there and trust me, as long as his parents continue to bail him out, it won't get any better. I ran, and boy am I glad I did, I got on with my life and it is so much better!!
7. He's not lost his way, sweetie. All his needs are being met, so he has no reason to change anything. I'd say he's pretty content being taken care of by his parents most of the time. This is not a man. This is a spoiled little boy who will do no good for either you or you daughter in the future. His suggestion that you move in together is either a way of keeping you on the sexual hook, or a indication that you will end of with two kids to take care of. I'd run like the wind, sweetie, and remember in the future that a good indication of a man's future behavior is his past behavior. (Things seldom change, especially when they are comfortable as he is.) Good luck to you.
8. your bf has the words (in capital mind you!) L - O - S - E - R in his forehead. he obviously is very very immature and definitely not financially independent now just be glad that you're not married to him. i say SCOOT.
9. Your man is a little boy! He wants to do what he wants and leave all the responsibilities to everyone else. Mommy needs to stop enabling him so that he will grow up. You need to step on him and tell what the facts are! You can't afford to wait on someone who will hold you back. Think of you and your daughter---your futures need to move forward, not grind to a screeching halt. Consider hard moving in with this guy. You can't support your daughter and him ---it just isn't fair to you. This is a perfect wake up call.