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My mom is in a financial crisis, my son and I live with her, but I want to move to get a job, help!?

Hello, I jsut found out another crushing finanical problem fo rmy mom today. She lost the Cobra benefit she was paying for her health insurance. My mom is 61 and has health problems and takes many medications. SHe does not qualify for medicare yet nor aarp. I told her she can apply for state aide..but she is reluctant(pride). I am out of work, lost my job in April and have a 5 yr old to provide for. we live with her in a good area with good schools. However, I am unable to find a job here and have found more leads in Boston where my sons father lives. He has been out of his sons life for almost 5 years..and has paid child support(not through the state) for about 9 mos now and is trying to be a good father now. I want to move to Boston in order to have more of a chance at getting a job and being paid enough for my son and I to live on our own. The stress of living here is getting to me, my health, and to my son. He wants to be in Boston. I heard that his dad can register him in kindergarten in the area he lives in(whihc has schools that are a 5 or 6 out of 10) even though I don't live at the residence. Then once I secure a job and get an appt I can transfer him to another school if need be. But now if I leave I will leave my mom is a horrrible situation..for I pay her 300(though now it's 4-500 a month since she lost her unemployment payments) and also pay for all the food. I get a small amount in food stamps. Of course she can apply for that too but is upset about that. If I stay here how am I really gonna get a job and make a better life for my son and I? But if I go..how can I look my family members in the face if they feel I am abandoning her and bringing my son from the suburbs and good schools to the city and mediocre schools? HELP! I just want to scream and cry but have to run to class now..ahh!

Public Comments

1. While i know you love your mother, the only people you are responsible for is your five year old and yourself. If your mother is living in a bad situation, is in bad health, she can apply for social security disability, and can apply for state help, too. she paid into social security all her life, i'm guessing, and that is what makes these benefits available. There comes a time when we all might need help, and putting "pride" ahead of our own needs is not healthy. It's skewed thinking though. Urge your mom to get help for herself. Let her know you're considering making a move so you can provide for your son in a more efficient way. You didn't say how far Boston is from you, but if it's a distance where you can easily commute back and forth for job interviews i'd do that first... you need a job before you can move, don't you?.
2. I'm sorry to hear about your situation and your mom's. Maybe you can take your mom with you. If not, you have to live your life. There's programs out there that will probably help your mom. Once you move, your mom's going to have no choice but to get motivated to apply for assistance. Me personally, I would find a way to take care of my mom. I think of how my mom's always been there for me through the years. But, that's a choice you have to make. It's your life and you have to do what you feel is necessary. What about other family members? Good Luck!