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Résumé help much appreciated?

Would appreciate comments/criticism on my résumé. The format is amazing on Word, and I'm not interested in changing it - only the content. Thanks! Wesley D. N****** (423) 525-**** cell ♦ (706) 259-**** home ♦ ***********@gmail.com ___________________________________Education___________________________________ Overview B.S., Business Management, Liberty University, Lynchburg, Virginia 3.23 GPA December 2009 Major Course Experience (selected) Microcomputer Applications Skills Learned: Working knowledge of the intricacies of MS Word, MS Excel, MS PowerPoint, and MS Access. Perfected the ability to effectively use MS Word, Excel, and Access in a business setting in order to maintain simplicity while escalating the business; through effective PowerPoint presentations, integration of Excel into accounting projects and webpage design. Applied Projects: Developed and maintained worksheets throughout the semester detailing various business calculations used in our text. Regularly integrated data from one application to another. Small Business Entrepreneurship Skills Learned: Learned to analyze the steps involved in formulating and managing a small business within a dynamic environment. Applied Projects: Wrote a full business plan focusing on areas such as idea conception, feasibility, planning, financing, legalities, marketing, operations, and management. __________________________________Experience___________________________________ Orders and Inventory Manager, Value Carpets, ********, Georgia 2008 – 2009 Controlled inventory, and managed order compilation Worked and oversaw order logistics, personally assessing and analyzing to ensure product and inventory efficiency for buyers such as Bass Pro Shops, Inc. Gained valuable analytical experience and problem solving skills under the direct supervision of the companies vice president/owner Teleservices Representative, Publishers Circulation Fulfillment, *********, Florida 2007 – 2008 Assigned responsibilities with the nation’s #1 circulated newspaper—The New York Times Provided excellent customer service by meeting current customer needs Generated new contacts and qualified leads Consistently produced sales above the national average Teleservices Representative, Choicepoint Precision Marketing, *********, Florida 2006 – 2007 Assigned responsibilities with the nation’s largest insurance leads force—Choicepoint Generated new contacts and qualified leads for Auto, Home, and Life insurance Consistently produced sales above the national average _________________________________Extra curricular________________________________ Professional Owned and operated a family business for three years. Applied a variety of managerial skills including personnel, financial, inventory, and customer service oversight Personal President/Treasurer of College Beta Kappa Delta Collegian (a student group of 80+ people) 1 year Active in community outreach programs Master Clubs(similar to Awana), Relay for Life, Adopt-a-Highway

Public Comments

1. I'm sorry, but I can't get really excited about your skills, though I suspect that they are considerable. You have hit-the-mark on a few entries (e.g., "consistently produced sales above the national average) but mostly you put in "motherhood and apple-pie" type comments and don't provide enough objective data for a would-be employer to evaluate the experience. You need more "meat" - details on what the job demands were (e.g., in the VAlue Carpets position, you should tell how many people you supervised or the approximate value of the inventory managed and then describe some specific accomplishment(s) or some event/activity you are particularly proud of. In the telesales positions, tell what the "national average" figure was and what YOUR result was; mention any recognition you received (e.g., Sales Associate of the Quarter, $Million Dollar Pin, whatever). Unless you're looking for an Admin position, your description of your computer learning is way over-emphasized. Describe some dimensions of the fraternit treasurer position; mention some particular accomplishment(s). Don't assume the reader knows what your references mean (e.g., Awana) and mention specific things you did in thoese community outreach programs. Your degree is contained in a section called Education - not overview It might not hurt for you to state some sort of Objective at the front of the resume. I am assuming you are relatively young, but there may be some real paydirt in that "family business." Tell them what that business really was; give it some dimension; tout some special accomplishment(s), all done while you were still in School. And if you're not as young as I suspect, the details of that period of your life (e.g., between high school and college, maybe) is even more important. Resumes need to tell someone WHY they should consider you for their position, not just be a Promissory Note claiming "I'm a quick learner / hard worker / people person" with solid basic skills, ready to work hard for you. Blowing one's own horn is a very hard thing to do, but it is essential in somehting like this.