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need help with speech!! silly super hero story.?

my assignment is to present an award or eulogy to thier favorite super hero. real or made up. present 3 biological facts and one personal anecdote within the main body of speech. full introduction, attention getter, orienting material, full conclusion, clincher. mine needs help!! any suggestions?? the introduction and conclusion need help:) plus it needs to be more then 3 minutes. Good evening everyone and thank you for being here to honor the brave and amazing super hero of all times bacon man. Bacon man was born in 1977 at Hillshire farms. He was the only piece of bacon given a cape and a mask. From day one he began fighting crime and made headlines everywhere. He had his own TV show and sold millions of dollars in movies and figurines. At his peak of crime fighting, he was even more famous then Spiderman and batman. I remember the day when there was a terrible grease storm in Rockford. Everyone was scared for their lives and hid in the basements of their homes. Bacon man had no fear and sucked up all the grease from the sky like a sponge until he almost exploded. I remember everyone cheering him on this day and declaring it national bacon man day. We still celebrate November 15 in Rockford to this day. His sides kick Canadian bacon man could never keep up with his passion for crime fighting. He was always jealous of him. Like many great athletes of our time, Michael Jordan and Bret farve, bacon man wanted to try out retirement. He tried to work as a people greeter for Wal-Mart. He tried being the mascot for liberty tax service, but he was too small and no one could see him standing on the side of the road. He even tried to film a TV commercial for geiko car insurance. No one appreciated his talents. So he gave up the car insurance to the gecko and returned to the life of fighting crime. Unfortunately his return to crime fighting would be a mistake. Reports say he has been missing for over a year now. Sources say he had a dispute with Hillshire farms over a new superhero, maple brown sugar bacon women. He threw a fit when he found out that he could be replaced by a woman. He got so angry one night flying about; he flew into a blt and was eaten. Sources claim the blt was very delicious and filled with bacon and loads of juicy tomatoes. Later that night, bacon mans cape and mask were discovered on a plate of dishes from a waitress at a local IHOP restaurant. Was bacon man eaten or did he finally retire and disappear? No one knows to this day. Thank you everyone for your time tonight to honor bacon man and his amazing story. Rockford will never be the same without him.

Public Comments

1. We all have the great fortune today to honor an amazing being...an outstanding example of bravery, cunning, and enormous appetite... I am, of course, speaking of the one and only Bacon Man! Bacon Man was born in 1977 to the humble farmer Mister Pig Newton in HilLshire , ___. Mr. Newton realized right away, that from the millions of pieces of bacon that passed through his farm every year, this one piece was truly special. At age one day, he ______________. By the age of two months, he saved a fellow piece of bacon from ____________________________. The news spread around the county that a remarkable thing was happening at Mr. Newton's farm, and it was decided that a cape and mask would add to this lowly slice of bacon's mystery and charm...thus, Bacon Man was born. In no time at all, Bacon Man was fighting the big guys of crime, including the infamous Cow Snatcher; the Hilshire Chicken Plucker; and in his most infamous case, the Mad Daisy Picker. Yet Bacon Man remains as humble as the little farm he was born on. Despite his own TV show, action figure line, and his picture on Slurpee cups everywhere, he remains the gentle slice of pork we all have come to know and love. And who can forget the time he ate all the spilled grease from the Incredible Fat Factory accident of 1985...saving the entire town from certain smothering by hot grease. He followed this amazing feat with yet another gigantic catastrophe when a freak storm of grease blobs hit the town of Rockville, __, the following year. Everyone thought for sure that he had taken in enough lard to last 10 years or more, but to everyone's surprise, he swallowed thousands of pounds of flying grease blobs over 3 and 1/4 days! As one man put it.."that is one hungry sice of bacon". Bacon Man had saved the day again, as well as many cardiac arteries and small town sidewalks. ( I love what you wrote in this paragraph so keep that and maybe work some of my suggestions in). And who could forget all the generous charity work done by our wonderful Bacon Man (name some charities he would help out in, like The Heart Association) The athlete reference seems out of place...but saying he went into retirement in____ sounds good. Say he went into retirement because of the perils of his superman job, like weight gain, insurance. And how about: his stint as spokesperson for Subway sandwich's was a disaster. As we all know, Bacon Man retired from retirement this past year, but what happended next remains mired in mystery as thick as a slab of hickory-smoked bacon. Sources say he may have had a dispute with Mr. Newton, who still owned rights to the infamous figure of Bacon Man and his Bacon Man cape and mask. Reports are unclear but include tales of overturned vats of maple syrup. Apparently, Mr. Newton had now turned his interest to a new, upcoming superhero he has named "Smoking Bacon Woman", and the mystery grows deeper still as the where abouts of both Bacon Man and Smoking Bacon Woman are unknown. DeSpite these little details, Bacon Man remains a true blue hero to so many, including yours truly. I cannot eat breakfast without a tear in my eye, and I anxiously await the return of this amazing, courageous slice of heroism and deep fried calories. Bacon man..we need you..Rockville needs you..whereever you are, we will never forget you. Please let any IHOP employee know where you are so we know you are safe. Until then, we honor you with the Bacon Man salute...."CRUNCH!".